Blue Cars, Blue Songs

Today as I was driving, I saw a 1970 Duster driving down the road and it jarred loose some nostalgia I had hidden in the layers.

You see, I once owned a '70 Duster-back in the day. I'd love to tell you that it was my first car, because then I could be spared the embarrassment of telling you what my first car actually was. My first car was actually a 'boat'! And when I say boat, I mean it was the quintessential car-that-could've-doubled-as-a boat. A 1964 Oldsmobile Dynamic 88. Oh baby! Burgundy exterior. White interior. Forty-two feet long. Four doors. Bench seats. AM Radio.(Is that drool I see dangling from your lower lip?...I thought not.) The only slightly redeeming value of it was, it was SO ugly that birds wouldn't even waste their time crapping on it. I mean, you know you've got a cool car when you can hear the birds flying over saying "whoa whoa whoa, not yet! If I can just hold it for another second or two..." Which brings me back to my first REAL car...the Duster. Now that was a car! Medium blue with a black interior. Four on the floor and wickedly fast. But, my favorite part was perched there in the dash. Yeah. A Craig eight-track tape player connected to four coax speakers that cranked out the best music the 70's had to offer. Aerosmith, The Eagles, Boston, Chicago, The Little River Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, ELO, Bread, Fleetwood Mac, The Cars, The Doobie Brothers, Earth Wind and Fire, Kansas, Elton John, Billy Joel, Olivia Newton-John, John Denver, Steely Dan, Loggins and Messina, just to mention a few. And, at the time, ALL of these artists were just hitting their stride. They were not the oldies-they were just HOT! But my all-time favorite tape was James Taylor's Greatest Hits.

To this day, "Something In The Way She Moves" ranks right up there as one of my favorite songs. I thought James (he and I have been on a first name basis ever since, ever since I can remember) wrote that song just for me. For me to sing to my as of yet to be found beloved. Is that cheesy or what? Oh well, sometimes the truth reeks of cheese. Although I look back on those days fondly now, at the time they were lonely. I was a painfully shy kid in those days so I had few friends. Usually it was just me, James, and the Duster. Ole James never seemed to mind me singing along to his beautifully simple songs. If I messed up the syncopation here or there, or if I couldn't finish the line because of the sadness in my throat, he'd just oblige and keep on singing. I could always click the track selector button four times and join him the next time around. I dreamed that someday I'd find someone to 'look my way or call my name'. I dreamed of those 'Berkshires (that) seemed dreamlike on account of that frosting', I wanted to be that 'young cowboy'. I wanted to 'take to the highway', I was 'down and troubled and needed a helping hand', I pleaded 'don't let me be lonely tonight'. But I was okay because, no matter what, my friend James was there singing this to me: 'winter, spring, summer or fall, all you got to do is call and I'll be there, yes I will, you got a friend.' That's all I needed to know.

Isn't it strange how something like a car passing by can affect my thoughts like that? Does this ever happen to you?

The Night Is Young And So Is She

My daughter turned 19 years old today.

I'm not going to sit here and lament how old that makes me feel. You all know how old I am, and so do I. On the inside I'm still somewhere between 12 and 25.

Still. There's no need to lament. After all, I've been blessed to know what it means to be a father, and even better than that, to be a dad to three completely wonderful children. It's an immeasurable privilege that I thank God for.

There's something magical about a little girl, though. Or maybe it's hypnotic. Whatever the case may be, it drew me in from the very start and I don't suppose I'll know the end of it on this earth. She is the first person I've ever known since day one. Being the youngest in my family, I never had a younger sibling so this, in and of itself, was amazing to me. But being her dad is still amazing to me. Oh the things you can learn from a girl!
I learned how to sing soft lullabys. I learned how to rock us to sleep. I learned how to kiss a new way. I learned what it means to protect. I learned how to walk slowly, watching for big cracks in the sidewalk. I learned how to talk to a teddy bear. I learned how to listen to one too. I learned the warm feeling of girl tears on my cheek. I learned how to wave goodbye. I learned how to blow a kiss. I learned how to twirl arm in arm. I learned to kneel down while picking dandelions. I learned how to giggle. I learned to tell good bedtime stories. I learned how to be tickled. I learned how to sing into my hairbrush. I learned the good flavors of lip balm. I learned to love the sound of deep sleep. I learned that ears make great handles on shoulder rides. I learned that dreaming is the best part of living. I learned that "I'm sorry" needs to be real. I learned that "I love you" is best said softly and lived loudly. I learned that words can break your heart. I learned that patty cake is more complicated than baseball. I learned that girls can be studs too. I learned that I will never be done learning about my girl. I learned that being "dad" is the greatest honor I will ever have.

If I can grow up to be like her, I'll be happy.

Good Friday

Do tulips have eyeballs? Because if they do, they'd be up to them in rain today. Maybe they should get together --all of them-- and use their two lips and simultaneously look up to the heavens and yell "Close. The. Sky. Already!"

Life can be ridiculous. No. Really. It CAN be. I read it this morning in the book of Judas. Yeah, the one on the back of the Enquirer. Yep. It takes a little bit of getting used to those hokey 3D glasses but, eventually, you can do it. Anyway, right there in Judas 4:14 (which is weird cuz that's today's date...) it says, and I quote: "F" and then some really unrecognizable ripped parchment thing that looks like this:z/,mva'if and then: "o"......see? What it's saying is really quite simple. If you turn the script upside down and fold the left corner over your right index finger like so, it still says the same thing. "F"...."o". Yep. That's right! Judas was the first disciple with Tourette's syndrome. Which is clearly proof that life CAN be ridiculous, like I said.

Did you know that in Canada a lot of people get today off for Good Friday? Do you suppose they even know what that means? I mean, Canada is notorious for having at least one 'holiday' (even though that's what Canadians call a vacation) a month. If the Queen has bad gas they take a holiday. Seriously. Evidently she's got a thing for gassy foods because every other week there's a new holiday proclaimed. I mean, the day after Christmas is 'Boxing Day'. Picture that for a minute. A bunch of Canadians standing around punching each other. Wait!...isn't that called 'hockey'?

Well, this has to rank up there with one of my most useless posts ever, maybe it's because it's Friday. Or not.

Have a good Good Friday and a really really good good Easter! :)

A Colorful Day

I had a fun day today. I got to be with my son and go hiking and driving and taking pictures. He's so much fun to be around! And I am so blessed. Isn't it cool?

No Kidding?

On the eve of April Fool's Day I'm going to try to fool you. The following is a list of things about me and my life. Some of them true some of them not. See if you can pick out the ones that are NOT.

I bat lefthanded.

I throw righthanded.

I've proposed to two different women.

They both said "Yes".

I've been married only once.

My brother once threw out the first pitch at a Los Angeles Dodger game.

I've stood shoulder to shoulder with Sandy Koufax.

I once braided my wife's hair on a TV show...live.

I have auditioned for a Hollywood movie.

I have travelled 60-plus miles an hour in a car--backwards.

When my parents arrived at LAX from the Netherlands they and the eight people with them had a total of $12 to their names.

I can remember the license plate number of the car we drove when I was 6 years old.

I have called 16 different houses 'home'.

I still have my tonsils.

I can say "I love you" in four languages.

My dad never saw me get a basehit.

I've never been in a fistfight.

Being able to fly a plane has long been one of my dreams.

I've asked a Maybelleine model to dinner.

She said "Yes".

I weighed 89 pounds when I was freshman in high school.

I weighed 115 pounds when I graduated from high school.

Lobster is one thing I've never eaten.

I cry easily.

My favorite number is 7.

If I die at an age half-way between that of my dad at his death and my grampa at his, I will die when I'm 77.

My oldest brother is 7 years older than me.

In my 12 years of education (pre-college)I attended 7 different schools.

I graduated from high school in '77.

I was 17.

I am the 7th child born in my family.

I hate math.

My nose was broken by a friend of mine who was teaching me how to box.

I love words.

I sometimes think in spoonerisms.

At my core I am very shy and insecure.

My kids have been to more countries than I have.

I've attended three different colleges.

If requested, I can and have eaten live insects.

225 pounds is the most I've ever bench pressed.

I didn't attend my own high school graduation.

My first day of college I was 17 years old.

Once, I sang in a duet in front of my church.

I wouldn't think twice about driving to California for the weekend.


Okay. That should give you something to think about. Let's see how well you know me. See if you can guess what's NOT true and tell me. I'll give you a clue...NAH! I hate giving clues.

(Pete, you guess last:)

Whatdyathink?

Have you ever wondered what heaven is like? I mean, what will it really be like? Streets of gold, ya think? Pearly gates, ya think? Peter was pretty high up there (no pun intended) as far the saints go, why should he get the stinking check-in desk job? Come on!
Some people get more jewels in their crown than others? A caste system in Heaven??

What about dogs? I personally don't love dogs, so...what? I check in to the non K9 section? My kids love dogs, so now what?

What language will we speak? My dad always told us as kids it would be Frisian, the language we spoke at home.

What about all that singing? What if you HATE singing? I know for a fact that that's the very reason a lot of men won't go to church. All that singing. Why can't we shoot hoops during that part of the service? Or just listen to the Eagles "Learn to be Still"?

Me? I'm going looking for my dad when I get there. He'll probably be arguing doctrine with Paul or some other former ruffian he could associate with. Maybe we could go swingin' on heaven's monkey bars and swing so high when we let go we'd smack into the stars. Or go make ice cream out of the milky way and gobble it down in the shade of the moon. Or maybe, just maybe, he's finally got time to play a little catch. We could even have a little pick-up game. You know, Adam at first, Eve at second, Zacchaeus at short, 3rd John at third, a thief out in left, God in center, and everybody else in right. Oh and let's not forget catcher. Peter, James, Andrew or John could ALL catch! Jesus would pitch of course. Wouldn't that be fun? You'd always get a perfect strike.

I have no idea what to think when it comes to heaven. I mean, we are so small-minded compared to God. We think we have a clue what opulence is and that it will likely be that...opulent. A child in a third world country thinks eating everyday is heaven!

We can't even imagine what this ball we live on will be like in five years, how can we possibly pretend to know what the God of the universe has up his sleeve? We're limited to a finite mind and it's feeble capabilities. We're not able to fathom how completely unfathomable heaven will be. It's fun to think about though. And sobering. Makes me wonder why I do the idiotic things I do. Why I get so bent and behave so childishly about so many things that ultimately don't matter as much as I think they do. What matters most is my relationship to God and my relationship to YOU. Let's work on healing those, shall we?

I'm ready.

Adrift

My heart is heavy
here in the mire
much too heavy
to lift

My mind and myself
join to conspire
to let ourselves go
adrift

Crystal blue
clearness
and a constant
lapping sound

You and me
nearness
and a quiet
laughing sound

The wind is the song
and we are the dancers
we frolic along
with no need for answers
for the wind is the song
and we are the dancers

Seeds

Sometimes a follow-up entry is just necessary, don't you think? I mean, I could just leave you hanging. Let you draw your own conclusions. But if you know me at all, you know how much I despise silence when overt communication seems to clearly be the better option. So. Here's what happened Friday night when Jessica and I went out to dinner...


...I let her be her and she let me be me. There were no weird, pre-concocted questions. There were no forced issues. There was just a young woman and her proud dad having dinner together, enjoying each other's company, conversation, and laughter. We had a great time!

I'm learning what it means to be her friend while still being her dad. It sounds weird to me, so I don't mind if it does to you too. A part of me wants to protect her forever from anything that would cause her an ounce of pain. Believe me, it's a BIG part of me, but another part of me wants her to prosper and grow and gain strength and success and stand tall in the world. I know intellectually that pain is part of the growth process, so my desire for her growth seems like the antithesis of my wish to protect her. The reality is this: pain and protection from pain both have, as their finished product, growth. So, where does that leave me? It leaves me no choice but to admit that I'm going to struggle with this. And that 'this' is my struggle, not hers. I'm going to keep engaging her. I'm going to bumble along down this road some more. Sometimes I won't get it right and I know that, but I'm done doing only the things I get right! In the end, Jessica will forge her own way in this world and she will know that her dad loves her.

By the way, the name of the restaurant where we had dinner was: SEEDS

It's Springy!

What. You thought I was going to debrief you on the "Briefly..." entry? Come on. Good things come to those that wait.

In the mean time, check out these pictures. Most of them were taken from the seat of my truck...while rolling. (Notice: I said 'rolling' not driving, since driving implies that I was in control of the vehicle at the time.)

Flowers are growing so fast you can almost hear them...listen. Hear that? That's what flowers sound like when they're growing. Really.

(Those are flower beds built into the bumper on the blue truck)

Briefly...

...tonight I'm taking my daughter out to a nice dinner. We haven't had a 'real' conversation in awhile so I'm excited.

Here's your chance to give your input. Knowing what you know about me and about her, what ONE question must be asked before the night ends? It needn't neccessarily be a deep, serious question. I'm just curious.

Some of you have daughters. Some of you are daughters. Some of you fit into both categories. So...think about it and let me know!

Randomonium

A sampling of bits and pieces of my thoughts and views of today:

It's hard to take big strides when you're always putting your best foot forward. Every once in a while you've got to let them see that ugly foot.

Sobbing is kind of like a heart massage. Very painful at first, but when the pain dissipates you know it's done some good. The pain needs a way of escape. Let it out.

I think churches should install one of those old time bells-you know the kind gas stations used to have-only it should be laid across the street on which the church sits, and the bell should be right in the sanctuary, that way those sitting there 'growing their faith' could hear how many people are driving by on their way to hell.

Animals have done pretty doggone well without technology. I mean, birds still actually have to fly from point A to point B just like they did in the garden of Eden. Cows don't have any anti-fly mechanisms, just a good old fashioned tail. Dogs still chase cats. Cats still eat mice. No one has concocted a way of telling them that it might not be politically correct and yet animaldom seems to be doing alright, compared to us humans.

Eating tacos in a house full of laughing children is better than any four star restaurant anywhere, anytime. Hands down!!

There's much too much animosity between the sexes. Let's just get over ourselves shall we? My intent is to understand, not to claw your eyes out.

Big, white, puffy clouds is where I want to live. (As long as it's warm:)

On the other side of pain

I learned a little truth from my middle son this weekend. He taught me a lesson in bravery. We (Jess, he and I) were waiting for our order at Outback friday night when suddenly he started to get noticeably fidgety sitting across from me in the booth. He looked up at me and said "Dad, can we step outside a minute?" This is the same boy that has scarcely said two words in a row to me in a year. "Of course!" I said. We stepped out into the cold air. He nodded toward my truck as if to say 'let's go sit'. We did. At which point he spilled a bucket of words and thoughts and tears so vulnerable that I wept right along side him. The essence of what he said was that he was saddened by his own confusion about being a divorced son. He was sad. He was torn. He was real. He was more honest than any person has been to me in SO long that my tears were every bit as much in his honor as for his grief. I have been fretting and pulling my hair out about our relationship for what seems like years. Always wondering what more I could do. Finally, when I've stopped 'doing', the ice seems to be breaking.

He is teaching me to keep moving in a forward motion to the other side of pain and to say what's true, even if the outcome seems dubious. I want to be like him.

Bridge over the river...Why?

It's a beeeautiful day in the neighborhood! So today I took a little drive to take some pictures and as I was driving I had several thoughts. No, seriously, at least TWO thoughts. But they were both in Chinese and I don't speak or read Chinese so I have no idea what they were-or who sent them for that matter, but I do greatly appreciate them.

Do you ever brush your teeth and then go get a cup of coffee? Me neither, that would be stupid. Speaking of coffee, this blog is powered by my two favorite words... CAFF and EINE!...and possibly the giddiness that sunshine produces in our Vitamin B starved slice of the planet.

My 12 year-old son has to write a fictional narrative for school (duh! No he's writing it to get his pilot's license.)He named his main character, BillyBob Chang II (as in, the second). Okay, if that doesn't crack you up then maybe you've been sniffin' too many bus fumes. So far BillyBob has two sons named...Billy and Bob! (As long as the third child's name isn't 'The')

My 14 year-old made the JV soccer team at his high school. As a freshman!! And he hasn't played a lick of soccer in 3 years! No, it has nothing to do with the fact that his initials are JV.
I could get a personalized license plate that reads 'JV team' or 'Always JV' which of course assumes 'Never Varsity' but...one should never assume anything. I've come to learn many things in my life and, well, as of yet, I haven't learned any of the things I came to learn.

Something that makes me want to say "YE" and then "HAW" is the fact that my Jessica's coming home next week for spring break. Today I sent her an official invite to have dinner with me while she's home...I'm hoping she says 'yes'. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and boy is it ever hard to type wif yer fingers crost.

A bird just smacked into my picture window in my living room. What makes a bird think he can fly right through your house? As if! Do I drive right through a birds' nest? I may have to plead the fifth on that one. I thought it was a hay bale perched on the branch to tell you the truth. I mean, horse flys eat hay don't they?

Oh, and by the way, I figured out how to post the picture, finally! Even though you can't tell by looking at it, the bridge in the picture is a railroad bridge. The tracks discontinue at each end of the bridge, they go nowhere. Hence the title.
Bye.

If I had a penny...

...I'd toss it in the wishing well and wish I were your wishing well. So I could softly listen to words inside your dreams and watch your eyes glisten in the silence of the schemes. So that I'd feel your hopefulness and the yearnings of your heart. . . so that I could know how to love you.


If only I had a penny.

NOT just another day!

I just call him Mikey, though I'm sure he prefers Mike. He was 6 years old when I first started delivering packages to his mom's coffee shop/video store. Always a very friendly boy, he never hesitated yelling "hi John!" every time I walked in. We just hit it off. He was a happy little guy and seemed to look up to me as if my uniform meant I was someone official.
I remember when he first got his license, he pulled up in front of the shop, jumped out and left the truck running. (It's a small town, remember) Of course, I couldn't let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers so I jumped in and drove it around the back of the building and hid in the bushes to watch his face as he ran out to find his truck gone! The fact that my truck was parked nearby was a dead giveaway to Mike. He knew immediately it was me. "Joooohn! I know it was you, you can come out now" and of course, I couldn't contain my laughter anyway so he came over and slugged me in the shoulder the way a guy does when he knows he's been had.
Well it wasn't six months later I'm guessing that I was the one being 'had'. I had delivered the usual Tuesday videos and coffee beans and had a few minutes to burn so I decided to have a cup of coffee. I stayed a little longer than I should have, and when I tore out the front door to dive into my truck...you guessed it, it was gone! I wasn't sure who the culprit was at first, since I've been known to mess with more people than just Mikey. But just like me, Mikey wasn't one to contain his laugh well either. It was my turn to take a whack at his shoulder.
One day last summer I was driving down Main street in my little brown cruiser when a motorcycle veers toward me, flashing it's lights and honking it's horn. I couldn't tell who it was since the rider was wearing a helmet so I veered right back and flashed my lights and honked my horn...just because I can! When I looked in my mirror I saw the bike pull a quick U-turn and jumped in right behind me and the rider started waving wildly for me to pull over. Remember now, this is a one horse town and I know full-well that there's no money in the budget for a motorcycle cop, so I kept going. Finally, the biker had had enough. He pulled around me, slowed to a snail's pace and pulled me over. Off jumps this big dude. It was Mikey. He wanted to show me his new bike. He knows I have a bike too and wanted me to be the first one to see his new toy. Even though he's now a big 23 year-old man, with me he's still Mikey.
I saw Mikey for the first time today since he was diagnosed with bone cancer a couple of months ago. He was on crutches. The bone in his leg is seventy percent eaten through by cancer. I grabbed him by the shoulder and hugged him and told him I was praying for him. His mom was standing next to him and when her eyes caught mine, I lost it. I suddenly had a deep jolt of pain run through me...I suddenly realized how rich I truly am.

When I crawled back into my truck with tears in my eyes, my phone made that music it makes when I have a text message. It said "Hi dad! I LOVE YOU-have a great day!" -Jess

What a day.

Not that it matters, but I've been gone on vacation to Southern California and Maui for the past 10 days. I've met some fun and interesting people in these few days. I hung out and laughed hilariously with my family. I swallowed a ball of wasabi. I risked. I got to know my brother just a little bit better. I kissed my mom on Valentine's Day. I delivered overdue gifts. I read a book- cover to cover. I buried my feet in the sand. I acted like I was 8 again. I sighed. I took a bjillion pictures. I asked God "why?" I witnessed beauty in many different ways. And yet, when I walked in the door just now I felt so very alone. I love being with people. I'm struck by the thought of how many times I've had this thought. Alone sucks. What I wouldn't do to share half my sheets and the rest of my life with love... And now I'm tired. At least I think I am because right at this very second I wanna cry. I know that I'm not supposed to-I'm a guy. Is there such a thing as holy discontentment?

Seahawks, Seagulls, Whatever!

If you know me at all, you know that I have a propensity for all-over-the-map, strange, and unusual thoughts at times. The following is a brief (thankfully) synopsis of thoughts I thought today.

• If I were a bird, there's no way I'd ever get hit by a car...a plane maybe, but a car?? No way!
• The MVP of today's Super Bowl in my humble opinion-the referees.
• There's just NOTHING that comes close to the awesome feeling it is to be called 'Daddy'
• Technology is great, but sometimes it's just a reminder of how far 'far' really is.
• You really have to love Starbuck's coffee to sit outside and drink their coffee when it's 35 degrees...or maybe you really are addicted to smoking.
• The FedEx commercial cracked me up!
  
• Eagles are just like seagulls. Except for the spelling...and the size...and the way they look...and the bald head thing, but other than that they're exactly alike!
• Next year 'the 12th man' will probably be the last guy through the turnstiles at Qwest Field.
• It takes a really hot fire and a lot of pounding on the anvil to make a good, useful tool.
• I love the sound of the word bliss!
• "That ball did NOT cross the plane!!"
• Sometimes I need to quit trying long enough just to 'be'.
• The thing that we have in common is that we're good at screwing up.
• Shit, tomorrow morning we work legs and shoulders again.
• I'm lucky to have a brother and a great friend in the same person.
• Will the kids even notice if I 'lose' the cat?
• Friendship is much more enjoyable than counseling.
• Only four more days, then I'm outta here...YES!!
• It's late and I'm beginning to bore me.

It was a Super Sunday wasn't it? Next year I'm betting on the refs!!

Six Questions

I 'borrowed' this from another blog...

1. Why did you get out of bed this morning? I knew that in order to get 'buff' you actually have to work out, not just dream about it.
   
2. What was your first thought? Yeah, but it's only 5 friggin' 12 in the morning!
   
3. What were the first 5 things you did? 'Used the facilities', made my lunch, threw a load of laundry in the washer, fed the cat, went to workout.
   
4. If you could choose to do anything with your day, what would it be? I'd hang out with my kids...just to be with them.
   
5. If you could choose anything to be today, what would you be? I would choose to be me.
   
6. What did you do today for someone else? I prayed for every person I saw that I thought looked sad, or lonely, or afraid. And also for a friend who is still very young who found out he has bone cancer today. I sent text messages to my kids and my friend.
   

A Warm Day

Having grown up in Southern California, I sometimes find myself lamenting long, gray days. Today was no different, at first.

The sky was it's usual January shade of charcoal. The wind was pruning the trees of it's weaker members and I was wishing I were under that California sun and watching the white whispy clouds do their Sunday dance. I called my good friend Steph who lives under that sun in California and talked for awhile and, sure enough, the sun was out and the clouds were white. When I hung up the phone I realized that the real warmth shared had more to do with relationship and laughter and depth and love than the condition of the sky. I smiled.

I decided today was going to be a good day.

My boys and I came home from church, started a fire in the woodstove, got out 'Monopoly' and sat around the kitchen table and laughed, argued, and played like the 3 boys that we are. Every once in awhile one of us would make a mad dash outside, braving the elements, to get another chunk of wood for the fire. We made dinner together. We ate and talked and laughed some more. The fire never went out. While watching 'The Princess Bride' I looked over and noticed my 14 year old hardly able to contain himself in laughter. I realized that the warmth we shared had more to do with relationship and laughter and depth and love than the condition of the fire. I'm still smiling.

The warmth of 'together' is more powerful than the warmth of weather...always.

Thanks Steph!

I wonder

This past week I went snowboarding with my youngest son and a couple of my friends. My friends are skiers and my son and I, boarders. (du-u-de!) When we got to the mountain they went their way and we went ours. Since my son is relatively new at this 'sport', we decided to stay on some of the less challenging runs and take it slow. Every trip back up the slope on the lift, my son, who is twelve, would offer up a different question. "Dad, what would happen if my board fell?, Dad, if you saw somebody bif it hard into that tree down there would you jump off the lift to help him?, Dad, does the lift actually slow down between poles or does it just seem like it because it gets so quiet? Dad, if we're up so high why don't the stars feel any closer?" ...great questions from a mind that never quits wondering. It got me to thinking. Thinking about this thing we call 'wonder'.

All of my life, or at least the part that my mind lets me remember, I've had a sort of wanderlust. A want to go. A want to see the world. To see what other people live like. To hear the wind through different trees. To see waves roll in on a foreign shore. To realize that laughter sounds the same in any language. What I didn't realize until that night with my boy, was that it was fueled by the same thing that fuels his questions. Wonderlust. From silly things like why we call one thing tunafish and yet we don't call another chickenbird, to slightly more profound things like what does it really mean to love? I love to wonder. It never gets old because there's rarely a definitive answer to most 'I wonder' questions. Wonder produces more wonder. Life is short and I may never afford to wander like I want to, but I know for certain that I'll never afford not to wonder. Do you think it's possible? Hmmm, I wonder!