Well, here it is a few minutes before bed time on Father's Day and my thoughts are winding down. I thought maybe I should jot some of them down for posterity.

My kids are not here today, they are in Maui with their mom and step-dad and grandparents. And while I certainly miss them, I have nonetheless had a good Father's Day.

Some friends of mine that I hadn't talked to in quite a while talked to me after church this morning and when they found out my kids were gone were kind enough to invite me to their house to join them in their Father's Day get-together. They have three kids of their own as well as an aging father/father-in-law so it was nice of them to include me in their plans. I was honored to have been asked and felt right at home in the mix. Not only that, but the sun actually came out so we got to sit outside and soak it in. Both the company and the sunshine.

After I got home I took the obligatory Sunday afternoon nap. I may have even drooled on the couch pillow...a little. When I woke up I decided to go visit MY dad. Well, at least the place where he's buried. It's just down the street about a quarter of a mile and yet I haven't been there in years. It's close but it seems so very far away.

I've never been a big fan of visiting gravesites. I know there's nobody there, but today it was just nice to see my dad's name written somewhere permanent. I dusted off the grass clippings that covered his name and said a few things...mostly to myself. I loved that man and missed him today. I can't wait to see him again.

My day was topped off just minutes ago when my cell phone rang and there on the screen was a picture of my youngest boy. They each took a turn to wish me a happy Father's Day and tell me a little bit about their day. I was glad to hear the smiles in their voices and to know they were having a great time. It made me glad to have someone to miss.

It was truly a happy day for this father :)

Fly Like An Eagle

I'm lucky enough to live in a place where bald eagles are not an uncommon sight. I see them a lot on my route because, well because that's where they live I suppose. That, and the fact that there are acre upon acre of grassland there. You see, eagles like to eat such things as mice and rabbits so they prey upon places heavily populated by the fuzzy, furry little things...in fields of grass.

Now, every year about this time the farmers cut the grass to make hay or silage to feed their cows, and the eagles are out en mass. Today, I was fortunate enough to 'chase' an eagle down the road for about a hundred yards next to one such hay field. I always thought that eagles were one of the most majestic birds I had ever seen. They just seem to glide along so effortlessly. Well, today was the first time I had ever followed an eagle so closely, I guess you could say I had a man's eye view (don't ask me why it decided to fly right in front of me straight down the road), and as I watched it carefully I noticed that even when flying perfectly straight it's tail feathers are in constant 'adjust' mode, tipping ever so slightly left and then right and then more left and less right and....well, you get the picture. All this to say: just because it LOOKS easy flying straight, doesn't mean it is.

Do you suppose there's a lesson in that somewhere? Hmmmm.....

I love the sound of a mower in the distance

and the sound of sleep up close.

I love it when the ones I adore give assistance

just when I need it the most.


I love how the sun with it's rays enhances

and makes even tiny things shine.

I love when I'm given new chances

to take-- leavin old ones behind.


I love having no expectations

and trying to live with grace.

I love not wanting ovations

while wearing this smile on my face.

Random thoughts the day after a memorial service for a friend:

-Don't let your degrees become degrees of separation.

-Don't let your divisions multiply.

-Live deeply in the time you've been given.

-Say hello to a stranger. And mean it.

-Wonder out loud.

-There is no harbor big enough for bitterness.

-Be clever, not sneaky.

-Be industrious, not busy.

-Kindness is never a waste of time.

-You needn't think a lot to be profound.

-Do what you do with vigor.

-Laugh at yourself...with others.

-Celebrate others' victories like you would your own.

I realize that these are not new thoughts, but I wanted to get them said, that's all.
Live a nice day!

Blessed

Life is interesting isn't it? Mine sure is, if only from my own perspective. Things happen all around that affect me; that stir me. Things like this:

My two fine sons are currently breathing Southern California air. They are participating in the international DECA (it stands for Distributive Educational Clubs of America, I believe...look it up) event taking place at the Anaheim Convention Center. Essentially, it's the equivalent to making it to 'Nationals' in a sporting event, only this is a business and marketing event. It's a big deal! They are young men of character and intelligence and they make me SO PROUD!

A friend of mine died this past Sunday of Gall bladder cancer. He was only 38. From the time the cancer was detected until his passing was all of ten weeks. He wasn't a close friend, but a guy that I always looked forward to seeing and talking to. He was infectiously kind and funny. I saw him for the last time Saturday. There was a 'pep rally' for him in his front yard. Friends and family came with balloons and banners for him to see as his wife wheeled him out on the deck. He listened as one by one, people told stories and encouraged him and made him smile. As the time came to go, everyone let their balloons go simultaneously. Letting go was hard. It was sad. It was sweet. It tore me up. The funeral is this Saturday.

Today as I delivered to a doctor's office I noticed a little friend of mine sitting alone in the waiting room. I've written about her before. She's a delight! I asked her, "Don't you have a birthday coming up?" She quickly smiled and said, "I don't do birthdays anymore, I've had way too many! Some days are better than others, but that's always been true hasn't it?", she said, as if she knew I was about to ask how she was. "So", I said, "if you still did do birthdays, which one would this be?" "A hundred and three", she said quietly. But then without hesitation she added, "if you're planning on stopping by, bring your picnic basket because I don't do parties either!" and then she smiled a wry smile...She's just plain beautiful.

I have a friend that I talk to for a couple of minutes everyday as I deliver to the high school office. We've been friends for a long while. We commiserate about being single parents in times like these. Her road is tough. She's been battling with her 17 year-old daughter who had a baby at the beginning of the school year. Seventeen is a hard age anyway--without a baby. Today my friend wasn't there to sign for the packages so I texted her to ask if everything was okay. The message came back: 'the baby has pneumonia, we are at the ER'. Will you please pray for us?' To which I simply replied, 'of course'. Later this evening she thanked me for praying and that the baby was doing better. I am relieved.

So you see, I am blessed by God to know what it's like to be a proud dad; to know the ache of sadness in the passing of a life too soon; to see the story of beauty written on the face of a woman; to lift weight off of a friend's shoulders by passing it on to God. To me, this is what makes life interesting...to be blessed like that.

One of my goals this year is to read more. They say it's good for you. I'm guessing 'they' is a really smart guy that reads a lot.

So, anyway, I must admit that my eyes are getting to the point where I can't see things as clearly as I used to-interpreted: I'm going blind! So recently I broke down (not emotionally, of course) and decided to get some reading glasses. There's a misnomer for ya...reading glasses indeed! I put them on, and they didn't read a thing. As it turns out, the reading still needs to be done by ME...what a ripoff.

Open for Easter

It's Easter!! So, Happy Easter to you!

I was pretty encouraged today. After I went to church today with my boys, we went to Starbucks for some hot chocolate/coffee and there were a LOT of people in fairly dressy garb there. Now, that in and of itself isn't so much where I found the encouragement, but I knew that somewhere in that fact there must have been someone asking themselves why; Why do people make such a big deal of this Easter thing? At least, I'm hoping people might ask themselves. And in asking themselves they might conjure up enough curiosity to look it up on the internet or, who knows, maybe even the Bible.

On my way home I noticed I was low on fuel so I thought I'd go to Costco to get some gas. Well, as I pulled in to the parking lot it was obvious that Costco was closed. THAT had to get some people wondering...what's such a big deal about Easter that even COSTCO closes?? I mean, I have to admit I was a little irked at the fact myself. But only momentarily. As I continued on my way home I notice that Taco Time and Little Caesar's and a couple of local joints were also closed. I figure if enough people were inconvenienced by these little closures maybe just one or two of them would wonder long enough to investigate. And maybe, just maybe they'd come to understand that Jesus was inconvenienced a whole lot more than they'll ever be just so He and they could be friends...forever, and that He"s still alive today.

Because He is alive, so am I!!!

I'm feeling a little bit blue tonight. Not sure as to the 'why', but nonetheless it is true.
So, as a means of therapy I thought I'd make of list of things I love. It just helps.

In no particular order and for many and varied reasons here are some things I love:

-The smell of coffee just before it's ground.

-Unrestrained laughter.

-The sound of babies sleeping.

-Piano music.

-When a friend calls and says, "I've been thinking about you."

-Hot, spicy mexican food.

-Crawling into bed at night.

-Debating with my son.

-March Madness.

-Rows of colorful houses.

-When my feet are warm.

-Feeling like a kid again.

-Sunshine-y mornings.

-Having a new thought.

-Being awed by my kids.

-The promise of spring in the wind.


Your turn...what do you love?

It's a blustery night and the wind is unsteady as it can sometimes be in these last, volatile days of winter. My garage door squeaks where the metal of the hinges rub together where they meet in the middle. Strangely enough, it's a soothing sound to me on nights like this. The house is still warm from the fresh memories of my boys and I horseplaying around in the front room. The fire crackles quietly behind the glowing glass of the woodstove door and the fridge is humming in the kitchen, still trying to recuperate from the seemingly endless series of opens and closes that happen when three boys--two still growing--invade it's privacy.

Sunday nights used to be the hardest for me to bear; the sudden hush after a two-day barrage of noise and frenetic energy. But now the quiet, while not quite longed for, is the accompaniment music to my reflective thoughts.

I am blessed to have the knowledge of quiet and the love of two amazing boys.

Blindspot

Have you ever wondered what it is you're oblivious to? I do. I know for a fact that there are things that I am simply clueless about; Things about my own being. Blindspots. Things that others see clearly about me that I simply don't see-- for whatever reason. Maybe because I don't want to, because I don't care enough to, maybe because I haven't looked, or am afraid to look, or don't know where to even start looking. I consider myself a fairly introspective person, but I also know that I see things through a clouded lens. The thing is, I'm not sure if the fog on the lens is good for me or something I use as an excuse to continue to bump into the obstacles. What would my life look like with a slippery clean, brand new view? Would I be good at walking without falling? I have found that the falling always hurts, but it has also made me better at it, my question is, is that really the point? Falling isn't necessarily effortless, but it usually the easier of two options. Why not get better at the more difficult things and less adept at the easy ones? Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe THAT'S my blindspot!

This morning I woke up
and said hello to the ceiling
Poured my coffee into my cup
with that same familiar feeling

I'm gonna be okay; I'm gonna be alright
As long as there's day at the end of each night
I'm gonna be okay.
As long as dark is still chased by the light
I'm gonna be okay

Five good things to do on an early February Saturday

1. Get up early and beat the old codgers to Denny's.

2. Drink hot, freshly ground and brewed coffee at home first.

3. Get a rip-snortin' fire going in the woodstove.

4. Crank up the music.

5. Feel what you feel.

My life has it's share of 'have to' lists just like yours, but they can wait, can't they? In a world where complication seems to be the norm, I'm still in love with simple. There is something very comforting in simple things. Maybe that's just me.

Night has come, or has it fallen? Which ever the case may be, it is here. And in it's midst am I. There are stars up high in the silence where no man has been, yet every man has dreamed of. Below them is where we will live for a time. Do you wonder if they dream what it's like down here? Down here from where the voices and the laughter emanate. Do they dream of colors and sunlight and showers of noise?

I wonder what will happen when my dreams and my wonder and the stars collide.

The Sound of Silence

For the first time in a long time, it's going to be a white Christmas here!

I have a thing for snow. I love it. Oh sure, it's terrible to drive in and it turns people around me into insufferable drivers, but it's still one of my favorite things. I don't know if it's because I never saw it as a kid and that allows me to be kidlike in my excitement, or if it's just because there's just nothing else like a newfallen snow.

We have been blanketed in white for a week now and I still pull back the shades in my front window now and then just to gawk and marvel.

If you've read here before you know how I dislike silence. Well, silence as a form of response, anyway. But this silence? This snowy silence? It's one of the best things that exists! When the sound of your own breath catches you off-guard and seems like an intrusion...THAT kind of silence is where wonder begins and takes hold.

Tonight is a silent night. Holy night. Let the wonder begin. Let it take hold...of your heart.