The case for more creative speech

Whatever happened to decency? Lately I have just become more and more tired of vulgar language. Where I work it's always sort of been a given. It's kind of a 'man's world' workplace so it's to be expected. But why? How did it become expected? Where's our restraint?

I grew up in a 'G' rated world and, quite frankly, I miss it. I heard my dad swear once (in his native Frisian, but I knew he was swearing just by the context of his demeanor). It was such a big deal that I can remember to this day, the whole circumstance clearly. Once. That was the only time I ever heard my dad curse and I am glad of that fact.

I'm sure it makes me sound old, but I don't care. I think it takes more of a man to find creative ways to communicate his thoughts and feelings than to merely spout off obscenities. (Note: they are still called obscenities. Why then, are they so easily spewed?) Don't get me wrong. I am not offended by most swearing, nor am I a prude, I'm just sick of it. I don't want my mom walking around, hearing 'R' rated language at every turn. I think she deserves a better world than that. I realize that most people are just too lazy to think of a new, different way to say something so they use the old, tired standby by default. I think it's indicative of the larger societal problem called: lack of consideration for others.

So, rather than just spout off my distaste without offering a solution, I'm going to offer some of the alternate 'swear words' that I use from time to time. If for no other reason than to let you know (once again) how strange I am, here are few choice morsels:

Stink puppet!
Dinglecheese! (insulting, no?)
Finkbeiner!
Skunk Pirate Jones!
Dorkberry!