Tuesday, February 28, 2006

If I had a penny...

...I'd toss it in the wishing well and wish I were your wishing well. So I could softly listen to words inside your dreams and watch your eyes glisten in the silence of the schemes. So that I'd feel your hopefulness and the yearnings of your heart. . . so that I could know how to love you.

If only I had a penny.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

NOT just another day!

I just call him Mikey, though I'm sure he prefers Mike. He was 6 years old when I first started delivering packages to his mom's coffee shop/video store. Always a very friendly boy, he never hesitated yelling "hi John!" every time I walked in. We just hit it off. He was a happy little guy and seemed to look up to me as if my uniform meant I was someone official.
I remember when he first got his license, he pulled up in front of the shop, jumped out and left the truck running. (It's a small town, remember) Of course, I couldn't let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers so I jumped in and drove it around the back of the building and hid in the bushes to watch his face as he ran out to find his truck gone! The fact that my truck was parked nearby was a dead giveaway to Mike. He knew immediately it was me. "Joooohn! I know it was you, you can come out now" and of course, I couldn't contain my laughter anyway so he came over and slugged me in the shoulder the way a guy does when he knows he's been had.
Well it wasn't six months later I'm guessing that I was the one being 'had'. I had delivered the usual Tuesday videos and coffee beans and had a few minutes to burn so I decided to have a cup of coffee. I stayed a little longer than I should have, and when I tore out the front door to dive into my truck...you guessed it, it was gone! I wasn't sure who the culprit was at first, since I've been known to mess with more people than just Mikey. But just like me, Mikey wasn't one to contain his laugh well either. It was my turn to take a whack at his shoulder.
One day last summer I was driving down Main street in my little brown cruiser when a motorcycle veers toward me, flashing it's lights and honking it's horn. I couldn't tell who it was since the rider was wearing a helmet so I veered right back and flashed my lights and honked my horn...just because I can! When I looked in my mirror I saw the bike pull a quick U-turn and jumped in right behind me and the rider started waving wildly for me to pull over. Remember now, this is a one horse town and I know full-well that there's no money in the budget for a motorcycle cop, so I kept going. Finally, the biker had had enough. He pulled around me, slowed to a snail's pace and pulled me over. Off jumps this big dude. It was Mikey. He wanted to show me his new bike. He knows I have a bike too and wanted me to be the first one to see his new toy. Even though he's now a big 23 year-old man, with me he's still Mikey.
I saw Mikey for the first time today since he was diagnosed with bone cancer a couple of months ago. He was on crutches. The bone in his leg is seventy percent eaten through by cancer. I grabbed him by the shoulder and hugged him and told him I was praying for him. His mom was standing next to him and when her eyes caught mine, I lost it. I suddenly had a deep jolt of pain run through me...I suddenly realized how rich I truly am.

When I crawled back into my truck with tears in my eyes, my phone made that music it makes when I have a text message. It said "Hi dad! I LOVE YOU-have a great day!" -Jess

What a day.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Not that it matters, but I've been gone on vacation to Southern California and Maui for the past 10 days. I've met some fun and interesting people in these few days. I hung out and laughed hilariously with my family. I swallowed a ball of wasabi. I risked. I got to know my brother just a little bit better. I kissed my mom on Valentine's Day. I delivered overdue gifts. I read a book- cover to cover. I buried my feet in the sand. I acted like I was 8 again. I sighed. I took a bjillion pictures. I asked God "why?" I witnessed beauty in many different ways. And yet, when I walked in the door just now I felt so very alone. I love being with people. I'm struck by the thought of how many times I've had this thought. Alone sucks. What I wouldn't do to share half my sheets and the rest of my life with love... And now I'm tired. At least I think I am because right at this very second I wanna cry. I know that I'm not supposed to-I'm a guy. Is there such a thing as holy discontentment?

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Seahawks, Seagulls, Whatever!

If you know me at all, you know that I have a propensity for all-over-the-map, strange, and unusual thoughts at times. The following is a brief (thankfully) synopsis of thoughts I thought today.
  • If I were a bird, there's no way I'd ever get hit by a car...a plane maybe, but a car?? No way!
  • The MVP of today's Super Bowl in my humble opinion-the referees.
  • There's just NOTHING that comes close to the awesome feeling it is to be called 'Daddy'
  • Technology is great, but sometimes it's just a reminder of how far 'far' really is.
  • You really have to love Starbuck's coffee to sit outside and drink their coffee when it's 35 degrees...or maybe you really are addicted to smoking.
  • The FedEx commercial cracked me up!
  • Eagles are just like seagulls. Except for the spelling...and the size...and the way they look...and the bald head thing, but other than that they're exactly alike!
  • Next year 'the 12th man' will probably be the last guy through the turnstiles at Qwest Field.
  • It takes a really hot fire and a lot of pounding on the anvil to make a good, useful tool.
  • I love the sound of the word bliss!
  • "That ball did NOT cross the plane!!"
  • Sometimes I need to quit trying long enough just to 'be'.
  • The thing that we have in common is that we're good at screwing up.
  • Shit, tomorrow morning we work legs and shoulders again.
  • I'm lucky to have a brother and a great friend in the same person.
  • Will the kids even notice if I 'lose' the cat?
  • Friendship is much more enjoyable than counseling.
  • Only four more days, then I'm outta here...YES!!
  • It's late and I'm beginning to bore me.
It was a Super Sunday wasn't it? Next year I'm betting on the refs!!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Six Questions

I 'borrowed' this from another blog...
  1. Why did you get out of bed this morning? I knew that in order to get 'buff' you actually have to work out, not just dream about it.
  2. What was your first thought? Yeah, but it's only 5 friggin' 12 in the morning!
  3. What were the first 5 things you did? 'Used the facilities', made my lunch, threw a load of laundry in the washer, fed the cat, went to workout.
  4. If you could choose to do anything with your day, what would it be? I'd hang out with my kids...just to be with them.
  5. If you could choose anything to be today, what would you be? I would choose to be me.
  6. What did you do today for someone else? I prayed for every person I saw that I thought looked sad, or lonely, or afraid. And also for a friend who is still very young who found out he has bone cancer today. I sent text messages to my kids and my friend.