Friday, March 17, 2006

Briefly...

...tonight I'm taking my daughter out to a nice dinner. We haven't had a 'real' conversation in awhile so I'm excited.

Here's your chance to give your input. Knowing what you know about me and about her, what ONE question must be asked before the night ends? It needn't neccessarily be a deep, serious question. I'm just curious.

Some of you have daughters. Some of you are daughters. Some of you fit into both categories. So...think about it and let me know!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

One question. Well, not to do a Freeman on you and resist the box because it is there....(I love you Free-dawg) I will say.

Have one mind set. That might be: to look for ways her young woman heart is shifting as a result of school and seeing things now, through more adult eyes. (Still adolecent, but a little more adult and a lot more experienced in life.) The shifts are probably in how she thinks about herself and her family. Listen for those and follow the oblique statements to find the gold. Okay, enough of my idea, I'll do yours.

But first....Have an great evening. You two have been through a lot together and raised a couple of young fellers together. She will fall in love with the man she will now come to see differently as she becomes the woman you will see differently.

Urequested input: Take her dancing and BS if you don't dance. Who told you that? Make it about her and laugh...She'll love it.

One question: "Tell me your dreams."

Mark

freeman said...

'Nothing needs to be asked' is my first reaction; having an agenda about what a question might be is sacrificing the possibility of...? (it's that damn control thing beatin' you alongside the head masquerading as some important milestone quality)... do you want simply to ask the question or is your assumption that you'll get an answer right away? I don't think you can formulate it, expect it, control it. She already knows (!!) that you love her beyond words, beyond your ability to express it, beyond what you can ever do. She knows she's your little girl. She knows you ache, hurt, love, live, laugh and that you're as supportive a man as there is on the planet. I agree with Mark. Have a ton of fun, a sit down with your friend rather than your daughter. Find out what's interesting to her, what matters now, how she's reacting to that ugly guy who likes her, to that guy who keeps comin' on to her, what it's like to be grown up. Are these questions? Maybe. Maybe just comments or 'throwaways'. Hey, enjoy some memories together: find the joy. Your evening is something that may last forever in a memory; it may last a week or two (quick, tell me why it was that you felt so good and the lessons you learned at that great retreat you came back from in 198x....). You can't predict an outcome and I believe that if you go with that ONE question that ought to be asked, you've set up the whole evening for success or failure based on that question. Throw it out the window is my opinion.

All of that said, I like the subject but rather than the ONE question, I think you oughta do one of your list blogs, tell Jess about it and let us all contribute the 20 or 30 questions we'd like answers to or let the girls in our lives (daughters) contribute their questions to us.

My 2 sense worth.

Steph said...

I think your questions are less important the your answers. Take it from a daughter...I dreaded the questions. My willingness to continue to talk was not based on thought provoking questions, but rather non-reactionary, interested, and non-threatening responses. To this day, I ask myself two questions when listening to my daughters...they know they'll still get a mom's perspective, but it's all in the wording...
1) What did my mom say at this point that made me clam up?
2) What do I wish she'd said?

The only question that my dad asked me when I was that age that didn't make me feel on the spot was, "Do you know how proud I am of you?"

Anonymous said...

John, thanks for risking to ask your blogsters....you asked a good question.

Here a question for you. After hearing the responces....do you feel safe in asking again? do we live our own answers? Are you encouraged when you see the responces? (Don't answer all of these...you get the idea)

My new question are: How did it go? Does she know you love her? Did she get the thrill of hearing your heart?

Final question: Where are the photos of dinner?

Mark

Wonderland said...

John,

Hold everything, ALL QUESTIONS ARE OFF!!!! You'll be much too wacked out about one now, way too premeditated. She'll know and it might feel like an agenda instead of what flows. Let her know you're thrilled to be in on her life and if talks you'll listen. That should be plenty.
Considering the time of night, hopefully, you two had a great time and 'it flowed.'

Wonderland said...

John,

Of course, that was if SHE talks you'll listen...you knew that RIGHT??????. (It was a test of your blogging deciphering skills).

I guess Iam glad you don't first qualify the blogsters that visit your site. I have taught some English in my earlier days but how can you account for the mind that seems to think way faster than the 10 fingers that type the thinking??? It's all in the proof reading. Read it like you didn't type it. I know. I know. Still, I want to believe that nothing but a great time was had by the two of you.