A few feet from where I sit there are two boys that bear my name. My blood is in their veins. And while at this moment they're both sleeping, my concern for them is heightened. They are my boys. God has loaned them to me for but a brief time and it is my privilege and responsibility to steer their lives for a few, numbered days. I don't know the number, but God does.
Outside the sky is dark, the wind is howling and it is cold; a stark contrast to the quiet, warmth that is our home. As males we love the violence of wind and welcome cold and dark as challenges to be reckoned with. We're rough and tumble, dirt and mud. We're loud and boisterous, wild and strong. We understand these things about each other, but will the world even try to understand?
I know it will be an uphill battle. I know the temptation to retreat when misunderstood. I know the urge to hide the pain; to go it alone--isolation seems the easier pain to endure. I know these things too well.
I also know my Father...He stands with open arms. I hope I can model that to my boys because...the sky is dark, the wind is howling and it is cold.
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4 comments:
I think that most things in this life can be dealt with when there is love beside you. Your boys have you as their father; a man who clearly loves, guides and protects them. There will certainly be moments when the wind howls around them and you won't be able to still it. But you can wrap them in the cocoon of your warmth until the storm passes. They are blessed with two wonderful Fathers...and loving - and being loved - is what it's all about.
I get this ... If I didn't have my girls watching me, needing me to model something greater than I can achieve on my own, then I would succomb to the pain and isolation, numb to the howling wind and the dark and cold.
But I do; I have two beautiful girls watching me, looking for hope, and I've got to lead them to something greater than I. If not for God . . .
fabulous John.
John-
Reading this made me think of Psalm 91. I didn't want to post the whole thing here but it is one of my favorites. As much as you love your kids, imagine the love the Savior has for them.
Seek Him first...
Blessings,
Rachel
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