Sunday, June 12, 2011

Honestly...

It's been a long time...I think I'm stuck. I have much that I could write about--almost all of it internal--but, quite frankly, I just don't want to.

If I were to be honest, I would admit that at times I write to impress; so that you'll think of me in a good light. The truth is, the better the light is the less impressive I am. I'm tired of impressions.

In a world where wellness and health are god it seems to be criminal to suggest that I am not well. As if self-esteem is the cure all. My arm is out of joint from patting myself on the back. I'm beginning to believe it is better to be in a state of health where the only and best thing left to say is, "God, help me"

5 comments:

Cheryl said...

That's the best thing you can say. :)

Anonymous said...

Ditto...Mom C

Ann said...

you know, when my 13 year old daughter is sick, she is so cuddly and loving. she's not naturally cuddly anymore being 13 and trying to figure out this growing up thing. but she is when she's sick. it's made me think of how God feels. are we more 'cuddly and loving' toward God when we're 'sick?' does He have a love/hate relationship w/us when we're not doing well b/c He knows we cuddle into Him more but He hates to see us suffer? i dunno. but i wonder.

btw - don't worry. you're not up on a pedastal. we just relate to your humanity. you're able to articulate what we often cannot.

Lori said...

You don't have to try to impress anyone. Those of us who care about you do so for who you are. And it's ok to be stuck. I know what it's like to have much to say, but no desire to say it. Just remember that the lighting is always favorable in God's eyes. It is us that sometimes choose to remain hidden in the shadows. When you're ready, He is waiting in the sunlight.

Anonymous said...

Honestly...
Missing your writing. I've often thought that if you put together a small book of your essays, e.g. a devotional book, it would sell. You have a God-given gift and wisdom to share.
--Mom C.