Saturday, November 27, 2010
Last week I went to visit my daughter in Texas and promised myself that I would sort of debrief myself here...so here it is.
It was, of course, wonderful to see my girl in person again after a three month absence. She was excited to see me when I got there, which was a thrill all in itself. Not that any of my kids do it on purpose, but I seem to be marginalized much of the time. At least, that's how it feels in me. When you're not the parent that they see everyday it stands to reason. It's not wonderful, but totally understandable.
We (myself, my daughter, her fiance and his mother--who is a widow) did a lot of fun things together. Not the least of which was, eating! The food in Texas is excellent and it usually comes with a dose of southern hospitality. The people are genuinely friendly and homey. I got to meet the fiance's grandparents who were as Texas as Texas gets. Very kind and polite and always smiling and they adore my daughter. It gave me great joy to know that my baby is going to be surrounded by family like that. And her fiance treats her very sweetly as well. When he was in our neck of the woods for a few weeks after his graduation I had my eye on him and it seemed like he was a bit tense and it showed in their interactions, but now that I've seen him in his own element my heart is much more at ease in the way he treats my baby. He really loves her.
One of the cooler things we did was to check out the venue of their wedding. It was nice to be included in the decision making process of that. They'll be getting married outside and then having their reception on the same property in a ballroom. If you have a daughter I would suggest you start saving money right now...holy moley weddings are expensive. I have decided, however, that this is the one time in life to be extravagant. It's not a vacation--I'll have more of those. It's not a vehicle--I'll have more of those. It's not even a house--I'll likely have a few of those in my lifetime. It's my daughter's wedding--it's only going to happen once! And, as they say in Texas, "Yehaw!"
One thing that struck me hard while I was there was the permanence of my daughter being far, far away. That hit me square between the eyes, and I must say, threw me for a bit of a loop. Since she left I had been looking forward to seeing her in a short while, but while I was there I realized that there might be times in our future where those whiles might become loooong whiles. She is not just visiting Texas as I was, it's possible that she might be there permanently. And, with that possibility came the thought that every time I see her will be an event. No more 'just stoppin' by to say hi dad' visits. No more 'want to meet up for dinner tonight?' possibilities. No more 'look out your window at that moon' phone calls. That is hard. Just another something that I'll have to get used to, I guess.
All in all, I can say that I have a peace about the direction my daughter's life is headed. Although it's a long way away, Texas is a nice destination.