Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ya don't say!

Here are a few things I won't be saying anytime soon...

-"Oh how I love it when it rains 27 straight days!"

-"Yum! I'll have another bowl of that pigeon gumbo."

-"Duh officer! Just cuz I can speak English doesn't mean I can read it!"

-"I sure wish I was old and crusty."

-"Hello Postmaster? Yeah, can you put a stop to that B. Gates character? He's sending me checks in the mail completely unsolicited."

-"I pay far too little in taxes! Isn't there something we can do??"

-"Are you sure doc? Grab another glove and check again. You never know about that dang prostate!"

-"Hey kids! Grab your sleeping bags, we're getting in line. 'Rocky 16' is hittin' the theater tomorrow."

-"Not me, I've always been a Seahawks fan!"

-"Yeah, it's a travesty. I don't know how those professional athletes can make both ends meet."

-"What do mean, you don't take green stamps anymore!?"

-"I totally agree with President."

-"Perhaps."

-"Oh sweetie, I think your nose ring gives you character, I think you should get another one."

-"If it weren't for my readers I'd have gone totally insane."


...and since I can't think of a fitting ending let me say one more thing you'll never, ever hear me say again "Toodles!"

5 comments:

Steph said...

Yeah, you'll never say that about the Seahawks, especially after the Steeler's kick their butt in the Super Bowl!!

freeman said...

Looks like Steph put a line in the sand bro. Hawks vs. Steelers in XL Super. If only it wouldn't rain as much, you could see the sand :-) Sorry Steph, but for old time Seahawks fans nothing would be sweeter than Hawks vs. Broncos, two old AFC division rivals going at it for all the marbles. I think Pittsburgh is gonna win, but that's not what I'm wishing for.

things ya won't be hearin' from me:

"can't believe how good Washington drivers are."

"I can't wait to put on a shirt & tie. I miss the old fashioned office attire."

"I wish the sun would go behind the clouds. I hate squinting."

"Arnold should be re-elected governor."

"I love paaastrro."

"The price of gas really is pretty good considering the inflation rate the past twenty years."

"If I win the lottery, I'm gonna keep workin'."

"I'd like to go back to the Christian Reformed Church."

"Baptists are broadminded."

"I don't like going barefoot."

"I don't miss my daughter every day."

"My business is so successful I can take it easy now."

"I don't want to be in shape anymore."

"I like being incredibly busy. It keeps me feeling like I'm making progress."

"We've got that Iraqi thing figured out."

"I want one of those nipple piercings too."

"fuzzy was a great pet."

:-)

muted by time, I'm leaving now.

Pete

Steph said...

Speaking of braod-minded Baptist (or lack of them) Pete's comment made me remember an e-mail I once received...


There are three universal truths...
1. Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah
2. Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the head of the church
3. Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store

(Go Steelers!!! ;)

Steph said...

P.S. Pete, is there any such thing as an "old time Seahawks fan?"

Oh come on...no there's not.

I think the WA state motto is "Hope for the Future - but not for those bums, the Seahawks. We never believed in them anyway!!"

Yeah, I think I read that somewhere.

John said...

Steph, the liquor store comment cracked me up. And, you're right, the bandwagon is suddenly full of johnny-come-lately Seahawk fans.