Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Just a Monday

Yesterday would have been my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, but instead it was just a Monday. Which is not to say that I didn't think about it more than a few times during the day. In fact, the night before I had a really sweet dream about when we were still 'we'. The kids were all little and happy and nearby. There was laughter and playing and childhood all around me. It was the memory of that dream that had me tearing up several times during the day. You see, that dream exists in my soul whether it actually appears in dream form or not. It's as close as my shadow. And that has hindered my moving forward. What if I outrun my shadow? It's ridiculous that I'm still asking that question. I'll never know the answer if don't start walking.

Yesterday was just a Monday.


Cheryl said...

It's tough when we're still growing our kids into adults; I don't think we're meant to be spending too much time outrunning our shadows before that happens. Our kids are the sunshine that's left from relationships with their other parent. And light does, after all, create shadow. :-)

Keep your heart tuned to God. When it's time, really time, to move forward, I'll bet He'll let you know.

Lori said...

Cheryl is right. Sunlight creates shadows and your shadow, afterall, is you. You never want to run away from yourself. Remember that saying, "No matter where you go...there you are."

The past - good and bad - makes us who we are. We learn from it and move on. And it's ok to bring that little part of us too, as long as we don't let it block out the light that created it in the first place.