Sunday, December 24, 2006

'Twas The Night Before...

Here's an interesting poem I heard today loosely based on "The Night Before Christmas". It is called "The Night Before Jesus Came"...I hope it stirs something in you.

'Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in rocker with baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaining that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be The Day!

The light of His face made me cover my head
It was Jesus! returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of life which He held in His hand
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and this sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight'
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear'
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There's only one life and when comes the last call
We'll find that the Bible was true after all!

We were'nt ready the first time He came, do you suppose we'll be ready next time?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Birthday Brother

I am the youngest of seven kids. Always have been :) Which means I have at least seven birthdays to remember, but if you know me at all you know that I have a great memory for things that most people forget. If only I could switch that so I could remember important things, well then, I'd be set. Set in what? I dunno. Ah, but I digress.

Today is my brother's birthday. The brother that is just two years older than I. The brother that I, as a kid, thought hated me. The one that was my most bitter rival in all things brotherly. The one who, if he caught me riding his bike would chase me down, grab that bike by the sissy bar (remember those?...If you don't, don't ask) and walk me to a dead stop and tip me off of said bike only to ride it home and park it in the garage. The brother that always seemed to get lost in the shuffle. I mean, even his birthday always played second fiddle to Christmas (not to mention the fact that if falls on the shortest day of the year), but he never complained. Never!...Still doesn't. When we were young I thought he would break me in half, and he easily could have, given the fact that he outweighed, out-muscled, out-almosteverythingelsed me, but he never hurt me terribly. And now that I have two boys of my own with roughly the same age distance between them, I'm beginning to understand that he pummeled me because that's what brothers do, not out of hate or malice. It helped to make me who I am today. And who I am today is his little brother that is grateful and full of admiration and respect for a the man that my brother is.

Happy Birthday Will! (I'd shake your hand but I know you could still snap it off in a heartbeat if you wanted to :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Away Is Where I've Been

Well it's been a while hasn't it? Yeah, I've been away, both figuratively and literally.

I had two weeks of vacation in November which I spent in California and Kauai. The first week it was just me visiting friends and family in Ca. and the second week my kids and I spent in Hawaii. That seems like eons ago. There was sunshine and laughter and fun and being together...all of which are very close to the top of the list of my all time favorite things. The time spent with my kids was starting to feel like finally we were reconnecting a bit. I was loving it and feeling really encouraged. But as quickly as it began, it ended. Since I dropped them off at their mom's on Nov. 26, I have not seen my daughter (she's back at school), I've seen my 15 year old for ONE half hour, and my 13 year old I've seen for one full day all tolled.

This living from the heart takes it's toll. I could sit here and tell you that I'm used to it; That, over the cousre of the past 8 1/2 years I've learned to deal with it; That, oh sure it hurts, but I've grown a callous on that part of my soul and I'll be just fine; That if I've found that busyness and having clear life goals and continuing towards those has been a source of healing; But those would all be lies. The fact is, that just this morning I stopped just before I left my house, there in the entryway where the pictures of my three babies hang, and kissed my index finger and touched a picture of their faces and tried hard not to cry because, today?... That's the extent of our interaction. That hurts my heart.

So. If I'm going to continue living with this heart, I'm going to let it show a little instead of hiding and quit trying so hard to 'just get over it'. I know many, many people with bruises on their heart that I want as my friends so I'm going to give them my broken heart so we at least have that in common.

What about you? Where have you been hiding?